Two red-heads on a friday night...

We are super wild in this house! When Friday night rolls around...we let it all hang out and make play-dough :)
I used a simple recipe. Oh, and I burnt it, which is why it looks kinda clumpy...but it was still playable. I colored it with a packet of Koolaid so it smelled like cherries Mmm...

My little one will entertain herself for about an hour whenever we make this. She loves it best when it is still warm out of the pan, and so do I, it feels so soothing on your hands! She mostly enjoys pouring in the ingredients during the mixing process, and it's a simple enough recipe that I don't have to worry about anything getting messed up. All in all, the perfect toddler activity!

Recipe:
1 C. Flour
1 C. Water
1/2 C. Salt
2 TBS. Cream of tartar
1 TBS. Oil
Koolaid packet or food coloring for color.

Aren't these adorable? They're ladybugs! She made a ladybug family..."Mommy and Bella"

Scenes

I always like catching little scenes of home on my favorite blogs...I enjoy looking at the background to see what their spaces looks like. I decided to snap a few shots of my "space" here at my parent's house.

I avoided the piles of dirty laundry on the floor and the fruit loops and sippie cup that I just found in my bedsheets...You're welcome.

Top of my dresser...I love baubles. Can ya tell?

Where I always drop my book bag...I finally got one of my vintage wooden wine boxes and put it beside my nightstand so that I can just pile my textbooks in it. I rather like the effect.

Shelf I hung over my TV...I kind of just piled stuff on here to fill up blank space.

The pot of ivy I hung in front of my window...I'm a firm believer in having live plants in the house, it just adds a little somethin' somethin'.

So there ya have it. A few spaces in my new humble abode.

My happy, silly girl. You are wiser than your 3.5 years. You ask questions that stop me dead in my tracks, your intuition is astounding and also comforting. It is heartbreaking to realize that you knew it all along, you noticed and listened to everything but kept it all inside your little toddler mind, only letting it out every now and then to ask earth shattering questions that mommy doesn't even know how to answer. It solidifies that I made the right decision. You held your mommy when she cried and you told me everything would be okay. You never should have had to do that, but I'm so grateful you did.

It's you and me and the world, and I cannot think of a more perfect wingman to have by my side. My constant little companion. Your laughter and silly knock-knock jokes...your super tight hugs that kind of hurt sometimes and your sloppy toddler kisses are everything that a soul in turmoil needs to rest easy at night.

Sometimes you're mad at me when you come home from daddy's. He takes you horseback riding and to ride water slides, and to the movies...mommy takes you to school, makes you eat your dinner and spanks your bottom when you talk back. I don't blame you for being mad, I just squeeze you tighter and kiss your cheeks until you're annoyed with me...you can't ever stay mad for very long.

Trust me, little girl. I know you're so sad, a little mad and a lot confused. But mommy loves you more than you'll ever know.

Just trust me.

And she nests.

For a while I've really been avoiding nesting at my parent's house. Mostly it was denial, and the rest was fear, because I knew that when I did finally start to put down roots then I would have to accept my reality...I kept telling myself, This isn't permanent...he'll change his mind. He'll miss us. Things will get better. We won't be here long Any day now he'll regret this and get us our own place and we'll be a family again...

Yikes.

It's officially been a year and I've finally found acceptance. I've slowly started nesting...I know this is just a phase in my life right now, and just as I always took pride in making each military station feel like a home, I see no reason not to do that here too. So finally I unpacked those last two boxes. As I emptied them out and found places for the little things that used to feather my family's nest, I actually felt really healthy. I know that I will be here until I finish my bachelors degree, and I'm no longer embarrassed about this, I'm actually pretty proud. I was welcomed back into the arms of my childhood home, heartbroken and spirits crushed...but I'll sure as heck leave empowered and wise.

I'm no longer depressed 24/7, and boy does that feel great! I'm pursuing my hobbies again and I'm enjoying myself. I don't cry anymore when Isabella goes with her dad for the weekend. Instead, I go out with friends, I read a book, I take myself to a movie...I enjoy myself and do the things single moms don't ever get to do.

One of my hobbies is gardening. I love to grow things. I'm planting myself a little garden this season, and a few pots of flowers...feeling the cool damp earth in my hands is so nice! Turning up the new ground made me feel refreshed.

Breaking ground, starting fresh...putting down roots. That's kind of my life.

Pardon my horrible posture. I didn't know my dad was taking this picture...and I was tired from all that digging.

Saturday Morning

My favorite. Snuggling and watching cartoons...all week long during hectic class schedules I look forward to this. It recharges my battery and restores my soul for another exhausting week.

My nightstand. Lovely, isn't it? During the week I never stop to pay attention to what's getting piled up...but when I walked into my room yesterday and actually saw the week's worth of clutter build-up, I felt kind of sheepish. Taco Bell?! When did I eat Taco Bell?! More importantly...why did I bring my cup upstairs, put it on my nightstand, and leave it there all week? I felt like one of those people on Hoarders. I was a wee bit embarassed of myself. So embarassed in fact, that I decided to take a picture and post it on the interwebs. This is nothing...you should see my floor, dresser...bed...On second thought, maybe you shouldn't. Since this picture was taken, have I cleaned? No way. In fact, a granola bar wrapper, a sippie cup, and a half full can of Diet Dr. Pepper has been added to the mix.

Hey, look! It's 11:30. I honestly cannot remember if I took this picture in the am or pm...and that's the troof.

Divorce Sucks.

Nine days is a long time in toddler time...but it's a century in mommy time. I count my blessings that Isabella is a chip off the ole block. Independent to a fault, that girl. I can honestly vouch that this quality will serve her well later in life.

This is the excited scene every time I am packing her up to go see her daddy. I'm so glad that she gets excited, I'm so blessed that she is happy and independent and looks forward to this even though it means a different routine and separation from mommy She handles this so much better than I do. My little rock. I cannot imagine how much harder this would be for me if I had to leave her with her daddy if she was crying and clinging to my leg.

All of her favorite toys, pillows and books have to be packed. She meticulously counts each one. She needs Bald Eagle, Jaguar and Skunk...if I were to forget to pack one of those...madness would ensue.

I usually weep a little weep as I'm packing up my baby bird...I may even sleep in her bed tonight because it smells like her. I'll bet every single mommy does this.

Any mother who has gone through a divorce knows exactly what I am dealing with...it's an unspoken bond among us. The first questions always being, "How often does she have go with her dad?" Not because we doubt they will be taken care of...contrary. I know without a doubt Isabella is very well taken care of and suffers no loss of kisses when she's with him. It's just that horrible dread of being separated from your young. It's so unnatural. It's a palpable depression that sets in and doesn't lift until you pick them back up after the visitation time...you smell them, kiss them and squeeze all your favorite little parts...much like watching a mother bear nuzzling her cub.

Some instincts are universal I suppose.