Sunday, March 13, 2011

And she nests.

For a while I've really been avoiding nesting at my parent's house. Mostly it was denial, and the rest was fear, because I knew that when I did finally start to put down roots then I would have to accept my reality...I kept telling myself, This isn't permanent...he'll change his mind. He'll miss us. Things will get better. We won't be here long Any day now he'll regret this and get us our own place and we'll be a family again...


It's officially been a year and I've finally found acceptance. I've slowly started nesting...I know this is just a phase in my life right now, and just as I always took pride in making each military station feel like a home, I see no reason not to do that here too. So finally I unpacked those last two boxes. As I emptied them out and found places for the little things that used to feather my family's nest, I actually felt really healthy. I know that I will be here until I finish my bachelors degree, and I'm no longer embarrassed about this, I'm actually pretty proud. I was welcomed back into the arms of my childhood home, heartbroken and spirits crushed...but I'll sure as heck leave empowered and wise.

I'm no longer depressed 24/7, and boy does that feel great! I'm pursuing my hobbies again and I'm enjoying myself. I don't cry anymore when Isabella goes with her dad for the weekend. Instead, I go out with friends, I read a book, I take myself to a movie...I enjoy myself and do the things single moms don't ever get to do.

One of my hobbies is gardening. I love to grow things. I'm planting myself a little garden this season, and a few pots of flowers...feeling the cool damp earth in my hands is so nice! Turning up the new ground made me feel refreshed.

Breaking ground, starting fresh...putting down roots. That's kind of my life.

Pardon my horrible posture. I didn't know my dad was taking this picture...and I was tired from all that digging.